Progress Over Perfection

When did I get so tired? When was the last time I slept through the night? Do I even remember what it feels like to be rested? At this point, soaking in a hot tub for 15 minutes would feel like a mini vacation! I know I need help. There has to be a better way.

Earlier today, I took both Mom and my mother-in-law, Jean, to their doctor’s appointments. As best friends, they enjoy spending time together, so I scheduled their checkups with the same physician to save time and reduce confusion. Mom is living with vascular dementia, and Jean is battling Alzheimer’s. Neither of them likes going to the doctor, making every appointment a struggle.

Caregiving is hard.

Caring for two loved ones with different forms of dementia is exhausting, no matter how much you love them or how well you plan. This morning, I left Mom trying to button her dress shirt to check on Jean, only to find her wearing a pajama top over a dress shirt—buttons mismatched, of course. After gently helping her re-dress, we went to the living room, where Mom greeted us in her pajamas. She had no idea why she changed, and I realized I had left the pajamas in plain sight, confusing her.

Learn to do better next time.

"Let me help you with those buttons," I say while pretending all is normal. After some untangling, unbuttoning, removing, and re-buttoning, we are all set. As we enter the living room, Mom greets us in her pajamas!

"What happened to your clothes?" blurts out before I can stop my surprise. Mom's bewildered look causes me to instantly remember she has no idea. I left her pajamas in the room, so she assumed it was time to put them on.

Learn to do better next time.

Note to self: remove all unnecessary clothing from the room to avoid confusion.

After some re-dressing and plenty of patience, I finally had both of them ready—glasses, hearing aids, teeth, and shoes included. Off we went!

Caregiving is not a science; it's an art.

You learn as you go. You're likely doing a fantastic job. Are you perfect? No, but no one is! The key is whether you’re learning and improving. Understanding the disease behind those unexpected mood swings is crucial.

That’s where I can help. I wrote "Caregiving: How To Hold On While Letting Go," a guide filled with strategies, tools, resources, and encouragement. It also includes biblical stories and inspirational quotes from the Bible. It’s a perfect gift for caregivers or those soon to be. Many people have told me they wish they had known about it sooner—so many arguments could have been avoided with these strategies.

Order Your Autographed Copy Today

If you'd like an autographed copy, you can order it here. You’re doing an incredibly difficult job with few accolades, so know that I applaud you and am here to help whenever you need it. Feel free to email me at [email protected] —I answer every email personally. Keep learning, and keep your head up, dear caregiver!