3 Essential ‘I Can’t’ Statements for Caregivers: Tips for Stress Management and Support

Dad taught us we could do anything we set our minds to. Henry Ford stated it best when he said, "Whether you think you can, or think you can't, you're right." Our attitude is critical to our success.

While I believe all that, and you probably do too, I've learned that, at least in caregiving, there are some acceptable, and beneficial, "I can't" situations.

Ready? Here we go....

- I Can’t Do It All Alone.

It’s okay to ask for help. Caregiving can be overwhelming, and no one should do it entirely alone. Make a list of tasks others can help with, such as mowing the lawn, cooking meals, or picking up prescriptions, sit with mom while I run errands, take a bath, read a book.....

List everything you can think of that would give you a little relief. Put the list in your purse or wallet. Now, when someone asks what they can do to help, pull out your list and ask if there's anything on the list they would like to do.

- I Can’t Make Everything Perfect.

Perfection isn’t attainable, especially when dealing with a difficult diagnosis. Accepting the imperfections of life and the situation will reduce stress. Celebrate the small wins and let go of the pressure to fix everything. Embrace the reality of your situation and find peace in the journey.

- I Can’t Do It All at Once.

I remember an old elephant joke that went like this:

Q: How do you eat an elephant?

A: One bite at a time.

It's true! Write a list of the things that need to be accomplished today. Prioritize them and focus on only one thing at a time. By focusing on one thing at a time, you’ll accomplish more without overwhelming yourself. It’s okay if everything doesn’t get done today; you can revisit the list tomorrow and continue.

Remember, recognizing these “I can’t” moments isn’t about giving up—it’s about taking control and ensuring you can provide the best care possible while maintaining your own well-being.