Here we go Loopty-Lou

When your mom has Dementia with no short-term memory, and you are taking her somewhere, you plan ahead to minimize the repetitiveness.

One day, my preparation for her doctor's visit included printing out four pictures of various family members for mom to look at while we waited. There is no need for more because she forgets what she's seen by the time she's on the following picture.

She studied each picture, one at a time, and made the same comments every time. "Oh, look at this baby! Isn't she cute? Who's is she?" to which I'd reply, "Yes, she is adorable! That's Audrey; she's Ashley's little girl." and mom would say, "Oh, that's right." The following picture was of my son, who she still recognizes. Her comments were: "Oh look! That's Adam! When did he grow that beard?" I replied with variations of "A long time ago," "sometime back," and "a few years ago now."

We had already completed this conversation six or seven times when my cell phone rang. As I talked on the phone, mom asked her same questions again. To my surprise and delight, the lady seated next to mom jumped in and carried on the conversation with 100% accuracy! What a sweet woman!

Don't lose your cool when you find yourself stuck in circles, saying or doing the same things over and over. Try these tips instead.

* Look at an old photo album.

* Encourage them to read a book or look at a magazine.

* Talk non-stop until they forget that loop. (It really works!)

* Give them a coloring book or paint-by-number kit.

* Put on an old movie from their day. (Doris Day, John Wayne, Jimmy Stewart, or whatever they prefer.)

* Have them make or pick out a card to send to a friend.

* Give them a simple task to accomplish.

* Call a relative or friend and put it on speaker so you can facilitate the conversation.

* Give them some food to eat and, thereby, focus on.

* Distract in any way possible.

Many more ideas, inspiration, and even some inventions we created to make life safer and easier are included in my book "Caregiving: How To Hold On While Letting Go" on Amazon. It makes an excellent gift for any Caregiver.