Tips for Coping with Grief During the Holiday Season: Honoring Your Loved One and Finding Comfort

The holiday season is often a time we expect to spend with our loved ones. But when the person we wish to see the most has passed away, the pain can feel unbearable. While it’s natural to feel this way, it’s important to remember that you can still get through it.

Here are some meaningful ways to honor the person you lost while continuing to live your life to the fullest—just as they would want you to.

Accept Your Grief and Honor Your Loved One

First, acknowledge your grief and accept that it is part of thehealing process. Don’t hold yourself to an arbitrary time frame of when you should feel better. Pretending everything is fine will only prolong your pain and may make it seem like you are forgetting the person you lost. If you need time to cry, allow yourself that space. Don’t hold yourself to an arbitrary timeline for when you should feel better.

Here are some thoughtful ways to honor your lost loved one:

Light a candle in remembrance at home or your place of worship.
Say a prayer together as a family to remember them.
Share a favorite holiday story or memory about your loved one.
Encourage others to share their stories about them.
Visit the gravesite and leave flowers in their honor.
Hang an ornament or decoration in memory of them.
Create a nonprofit organization dedicated to their favorite cause (you can follow steps like choosing a name, finding a registered agent, and obtaining a tax ID number).

Turn to Your Pets for Comfort

When you’re feeling down and need some extra love, your pet can provide just the right amount of comfort. Pets offer unconditional love and support without judgment. They are always there to provide affection and can be incredibly soothing during tough times. Spending time with your pet can reduce your blood pressure, lower your heart rate, ease tension, and calm your mind.

Ask for Help When You Need It

If you're struggling to cope with daily life, consider joining a support group. These groups are often led by professionals and are filled with others who are also grieving. Just being around people who understand your feelings can help you feel less alone, especially during the holidays. Support groups are often available through local community centers, churches, or online.

Additionally, consider seeing a professional therapist, if you need more personalized support. Grief can be overwhelming, but taking care of your mental health is crucial during this time. Don’t hesitate to seek help; talking through your pain with a mental health professional can provide significant relief.

Break the Routine

Feel free to change up your usual holiday traditions if they don't feel right this year. It’s okay to not celebrate the holidays in the traditional way if you're not up for it. You could take a trip with friends, host a smaller gathering, or spend the holidays doing something that brings you comfort and joy.

Give to Others in Memory of Your Loved One

Another way to cope with grief is by giving to others. Helping others can fill a void and provide a sense of purpose. If you don’t have the energy to volunteer, consider donating to a charity in your loved one’s name, especially one that supports a cause they were passionate about. This is a meaningful way to honor their memory.

Remember, while the pain of loss may never fully disappear, it does become easier to bear over time. The first year can be the hardest as you navigate through all the “firsts” (first holidays, birthdays, etc.) without your loved one. It may feel like you will never be the same—and you might not be—but with time, the weight of grief will lighten, and you will find moments of joy again.

The Purple Vine is dedicated to supporting caregivers by sharing advice, new information, helpful tips, and anything else they need.

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Article by Hazel Bridges @ Agingwellness.org